Thursday, 30 July 2015

The Ghost


THE GHOST (2001)

Directed by: Douglas Jackson
Screenplay: Douglas Jackson & Dave Tedder
Starring: Chung Lai, Richard Hatch, Cary Hiroyuki-Tagawa, Michael Paul Chan, Brad Dourif & Michael Madsen

Woah! 

This is some mad shit right here. On the one hand this is a low budget actioner, with a few well known stars in the cast, of the type you would have seen a million of back in the 90s video shop heyday. It’s the tale of a Chinese super assassin (Lai) fleeing Hong Kong and hiding out in LA while the crazy crime boss she tries to kill, some bounty hunters and the cops are all out looking for her. On the other hand it’s some bat-shit-craziness about said assassin hiding out in LA posing as an internet bride (!) with a good portion of the story focusing on her relationship with her new American husband (Hatch), while the likes of Tagawa, Dourif and Madsen seem to try and out overact one another. Oh and not forgetting the homeless guy with no legs who gets into kung fu fights (what the?!), Chung Lai’s complete inability to express any emotion and, well, more absurdity than one can possibly imagine leading to a whole load of what-the-fuck!

This should have been a fun and straightforward action flick (and I suppose on its own insane terms, it kinda is) but is instead an unintentionally hilarious and, often downright, odd cavalcade of low budget weirdness. From Tagawa’s (a dude all of us in the action movie community love) completely insane bad guy performance (complete with face-painted-orgy-sex-scene that opens the film: seriously WTF!), to poor old Richard Hatch actually trying to take it all seriously, to Michael Paul Chan and Brad Dourif looking as though they will immediately walk off set as soon as they have said their lines, to Madsen’s the-fuck-am-I-doing-here performance where I swear it appears he is looking off camera at the director/his agent/some poor sap from the crew and is going to punch them, meaning  you have possibly the most what-the-hell-am-I-doing- in-this cast of any low budget action film. Ever. 


On top of this proceedings rarely make sense, the editing is all over the joint, Chung Lai (a star of some infamous Category III Hong Kong films) is, well, I’m not even sure I can describe her “performance” adequately and she has perhaps the most obvious stunt double in her fight scenes (i.e. it’s a dude dressed up as her) and The Ghost is just, well, mad. Shame as the cast is decent, the two dudes who play Madsen’s bounty hunter cronies are actually pretty good (and should have been given more to do) and the fight action (when it happens and despite the copious doubling) is actually pretty good, having been handled by Koichi Sakamoto and his stunt team (Drive, Wicked Game).

I ain’t one to rag on movies just for the sake of it but damn it’s hard to write a review and not point out the complete absurdness/crapness that takes place in The Ghosts’ 80 minute run time. It will test the sanity of the most hardened action trash fans, I’m sure there are dozens of drinking games you could play while watching this and if there was ever a low budget action film that needs some kind of making of/documentary about its production, then this is it! 

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