Wednesday, 21 January 2015

Future War


FUTURE WAR (1997)

Directed by: Anthoyn Doublin
Screenplay: Dom Magwili
Starring: Daniel Bernhardt, Travis Brooks Stewart & Robert Z’Dar

Three of earth’s best, err, things unite for the greatness that is Future War: religion, dinosaurs and cardboard boxes. Oh and checked shirts. So four of earth’s greatest things. Oh and cyborgs. So, five! Yep all these things cohere into one maximum whole to deliver a sci-fi spectacle like no other. Daniel Bernhardt (in one of his earliest screen roles) is an alien from the future (I think!) who crash lands in mid-90’s LA and spends a good 90 minutes running, no, walking around alleyways, parking lots and sewers dodging rampaging cyborgs, engaging in so called philosophical conversations about religion, being thrown into a lot of cardboard boxes (!) and trying to outrun savage futuristic dinosaur hunters. Yep, that’s right, dinosaurs! Amazingly, dinosaurs are the least strange thing about Future War


Future War is a hodge-podge of bonkers sci-fi madness and, err, bonkers religion mumbo jumbo. Now the idea of Daniel Bernhardt engaging in mad-as-a-bag-of-smashed-frogs combat with dinosaur puppets and a very uncomfortable looking Robert Z’Dar (unfortunately playing one of cinema’s least convincing killer cyborgs!) sounds like a riot, and for the most part it is, one unfortunately has to wade through a lot of running time dedicated to characters wandering around the streets of LA discussing all things Bible and God related. There is also some sort of subplot about Bernhardt helping a former runaway turned nun find her calling (or something) which leads to many of the said scenes of the aimless wandering and some comedy cops also turn up making a half arsed attempt to figure out what’s going on with the sudden appearance of dozens of killer dinosaurs in LA! 


Throw in a slow as molasses pace, pretty much every character wearing a checked shirt (!), a ridiculous amount of cardboard boxes used as “set dressing” and the comedy sight of a bunch of gang members preparing for battle with said dinosaurs by holding a meeting and making notes on their notepads (!) and you have the greatness that is Future War.

Seriously this film is awfully awesome, will no doubt be hated by any connoisseur of the arts and has already been ripped apart/ lampooned on Mystery Science Theatre 3000. This two-bit reviewer, however, had a hoot with it as, well, it certainly delivers on the humans-fighting-dinosaur-trackers- from-the-future front and that is a sight any connoisseur of the arts should witness at least once.

Bask in the glory that is the Future War trailer:


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