Thursday, 28 August 2014

Cy-Warrior


CY-WARRIOR (1989)

Directed by: Gianetto Di Rossi
Written by: Gianetto Di Rossi & Dardano Sacchetti
Starring: Frank Zagarino, Henry Silva & Sherrie Rose

This late 80s Italian Terminator rip-off stars the great Frank Zagarino as a newly produced cyborg, known as Cy-W, who happens to escape the ship he’s being transported on and ends up in a sunny Florida town. This displeases the company that have produced him and they send whack-job Henry Silva and his endless supply of goons after him. Silva, who is most definitely severely unhinged, wants nothing more than to track down and annihilate Cy-W. In fact, his sole reason for existing appears to be in order to hunt and kill runaway cyborgs! So, what we get then is 80s minutes or so of insanely fun Italian cyborg hunting, gun blazing action. Err, no, not really. There is a bit of gun blazing action and a few explosions but Cy-Warrior instead focuses on that well known destroyer of all things awesome, cool and action packed: the annoying kid character. Zagarino’s cyborg spends much of his time bonding with an  annoying moppet who finds him in the forest, takes him home, introduces him to his foxy older sister and the pair then spend most of the rest of the runtime teaching Cy-W how to be more human and adjust to late 80s life and ridiculous fashions! Yay. 


Which is unfortunate considering this is a 80s Italian sci-fi action flick starring B-movies heavyweights Zagarino and Silva and has a mind blowing cover as seen above. Instead we get a lot of lame, though slightly amusing, scenes of Zagarino’s bot-guy learning to eat cheeseburgers, trying out the new fashions and even learning, in one cringe inducing moment, to dance as he discovers what it is to be, you know, human. Between all that and the irritating know-it-all kid, one begins to wonder if Cy-W will ever get down to kicking some ass. Thankfully he does, as Silva’s persistent bad guy just won’t leave him alone and thankfully comes a calling armed with his goon squad and a giant bazooka, where he lays waste to the local Harvest Festival where good ole Cy-W was learning to dance!

It’s a showstopper of a scene, and wakes one out of the robot-makes-friends-with-local-boy fugue they’ve been trapped in for the last hour or so. Silva also ratchets up the crazy by barking out the phrases “God Damn” and “Son of a Bitch” like they are going out of fashion (seriously, have a drink every time he utters one of them and you’ll be blind drunk within 3 and a half minutes!). There is also a bit of a giggle factor to be had at the over-the-top mechanical noise made every time (and I mean, EVERY TIME!) Zagarino moves his head which then bizarrely disappears part way through the film (probably because the foley artist couldn’t take it anymore!) and there is at least a bit of decent action come the final third to make all the silly cyborg assimilates to society shenanigans worth sitting through.


Not the best from the golden era of Italian trash cinema (and Zagarino would go on to better cyborg action fun in the Shadowchaser franchise) but worth a look for trash film and cyborg enthusiasts and for anyone who wants to get drunk quickly by playing the he said Son of a Bitch game!

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