Wednesday, 30 September 2009
Hardcase & Fist
HARDCASE & FIST (1989)
Written & Directed by: Tony Zarindast
Starring: Ted Prior, Carter Wong & Tony Zarindast
Reasons not to watch Hardcase & Fist:
- The monotone acting by the entire cast.
- Carter Wong’s horrendous acting that makes the monotone acting by the rest of the cast look good.
- The fact that Ted Prior, the king of crappy action movies and star of the amazingly bad/awesome movie Deadly Prey, is the best actor in this and has the bemused look on his face as if to say “damn, this movie is even too shit for me!”
- Random inserts of Vietnam stock footage so the characters can have random Vietnam flashbacks (this is actually kinda cool, as Vietnam flashbacks are always awesome)
- The most hilariously bad, random (a lot of things in this movie are random) aerobics scene ever!
- The fact that said aerobics scene is better than any of the action scenes in this movie.
- Tony Zarindast wrote, directed and starred in this. Who is this guy?
- The fact that Hardcase & Fist aren’t really a bad guy fighting duo and Fist (Wong) isn’t even in the final showdown.
- Wong’s speech about his wife cheating on him, then becoming a stripper but he can’t help still loving her. He then goes to see her strip and can’t take it and kicks a bunch of dude’s asses in anger. Awesome.
- When Prior finally defeats the bad guy, who is lying on the ground dying horribly from 3rd degree burns, Wong simply raises his arm in the air and smiles like a mad man as if it’s the funniest thing ever (which it kinda is, due to Wong raising his arm and smiling like a mad man)
- That there is no pace, tension or excitement to be found in the entire running time.
Reasons to watch Hardcase & Fist:
- See all of above
A contender for the worst action movie ever, Hardcase & Fist should be seen at every given opportunity after the ingestion of vast amounts of alcohol and only in the presence of likeminded bad movie aficionados and equally inebriated persons.