Saturday, 21 March 2009

Shark(s) in Venice (?)


Directed by: Danny Lerner
Written by: Les Weldon
Starring: Stephen Baldwin

Wow, with a title like Shark in Venice you wouldn’t be blamed for thinking this movie was about a shark in Venice. Well, turns out you might just be wrong because there are barely any sharks and I’m pretty much sure this film rarely takes place in Venice. One damn thing is for sure though; Stephen Baldwin is definitely in this movie. In fact, he’s all over it, often in ridiculous and very embarrassing tight fitting clothing. Oh dear.

Apparently, some killer sharks are roaming the canals of Venice, attacking unsuspecting victims. This rarely happens and when it does some horrendous editing and National Geographic stock footage take over failing miserably to convince the audience they have just witnessed a shark attack. There are a couple of CGI sharks in there as well but are rendered so bad they actually make the badly cut stock footage scenes look good. Well, not really, as its all pretty bad. Shark in Venice is instead a very low rent action film that makes no sense and even, at one point, bizarrely has something to do with the Knights Templar and lost treasure. Sure there are a load of fist fights and shootouts, standing in for the lack of shark attacks, but it’s all so sloppy and ridiculous it doesn’t make the film anymore entertaining.

What does though, is Stephen ‘born again Christian’ Baldwin running around in ill fitting tops, looking haggard and obviously just collecting a paycheck so he can make another of those skateboarding/Jesus saves videos he’s been doing. In fact, he is in this flick so much they may well have just called it Stephen Baldwin in Venice. But hang on, most of the time it is so blatantly obvious that Baldwin, or anyone else for that matter, isn’t actually in Venice. More stock footage and second unit stuff shows the film is set in Venice but when the flick cuts to the actors and action it’s so obvious it’s all taking place somewhere in Bulgaria or Romania or wherever it is they shoot all these cheap Nu Image monster movies.

No sharks, rubbish action and no sense of fun, Shark in Venice is only recommended to Stephen Baldwin completists (and I’m sure you guys exist somewhere) and people who love shark movies. Well, actually not to shark movie lovers because, as Baldwin’s character rightly exclaims at the end of the film: “There are no sharks in Venice!” Indeed.

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