Thursday, 12 June 2008
Today You Die
TODAY YOU DIE (2005)
Directed by: Don E. Fauntleroy
Screenplay: Kevin Moore
Starring: Seagal & Treach
Really, what else is there left to say? If you've seen one Steven Seagal straight to DVD movie, then you've pretty much seen them all. Granted, Today You Die ain't the worst (Into the Sun and Attack Force still hold that title) but it's far from good. An incoherent, flabby mess of a picture, Today You Die has something to do with Seagal's thief going straight; his girlfriend having weird dreams; Seagal going to prison and befriending some dude: Seagal escaping prison with said dude; some other folks turning up and shooting guns; Seagal's new buddy disappearing for half the film; and a whole lot of mumbo jumbo and badly doubled fights. The film has obviously been cobbled together from different screenplays and, in certain instances, others films. Yet again, what could have been a fun, cop flavoured action flick is wasted on incoherency and the ponytailed one not putting the effort in.
To be fair, portions of the flicks aren't bad. There is a nifty and violent gun battle and the production values aren't bad. Yet for an action film the main ingredient is mostly hampered and when the action ain't even good, what's the point of watching an action film? First off, a barnstorming car chase on the streets of Vegas near the beginning is lifted, wholesale, from another film: Top of the World starring Peter Weller and Dennis Hopper. It was a great chase scene in that film, here it's just lazy and badly truncated. However, the worst offence is Seagal's fight scenes. The fight scenes themselves are good but it ain't Seagal doing them. An unconvincing double steps in and when the fight cuts to a close up, it's painfully obvious it's a shot of Seagal from another movie. Oh dear. When the star of the film can't be bothered to do his own fight scenes, we know we are in trouble. When that star is known for his fight scenes and built a career on it and still doesn't do them, well that's just downright insulting.
Once again, if you are gonna watch Seagal, watch a classic like Out for Justice or Marked for Death. I know I should have.
In the pic above, that's supposed to be Seagal fighting but it sure ain't.