Wednesday, 23 January 2008

Ninja Strikes Back


Written, directed and starring: Bruce Le, Andre Koob, Joseph long and Jean Marie Pallardy

A list of what is awful about Ninja Strikes Back:

- The horrendous acting, especially the constant posing of “star”, Bruce Le
- A main villain with an obvious giant fake gold hand
- The complete lack of coherency and continuity
- The inane dialogue that often makes no sense
- A kung fu fight on a porn film set
- The most unconvincing lesbians on said porn film set
- An extended chase that endangers the life of a child and ends with the heroes letting the bad guy go despite the fact he has just put many people’s lives in danger
- Teleporting ninjas (no, really!)
- A random flashback scene of the hero’s family so they can shoe horn in his sister to the kidnap plot
- A dude being overpowered by drugged up, topless babes: this scene consisting of him lying on the floor while the topless babes fall over him in a drunken manor
- Crazy animal sound effects in the fight scenes
- Harold “Oddjob” Sakata appearing as the exact same character he played in Goldfinger, complete with bowler hat
- An actress billed as ‘Chick Norris’ (no, really)
- Music nicked from all over the place including possibly the most illegal use of the James Bond music ever
- Cartoon inserts of breaking bones
- Those crazy opening titles
- A kidnapper dressed in drag for no other reason than to be dressed in drag
- A finale which is an exact replica of the finale from, Way of the Dragon
- The fact this movie was written, directed and starring Bruce Le, Andre Koob, Joseph Kong and Jean Marie Pallardy

A list of what is awesome about Ninja Strikes Back:

- See all of above

Churned out by exploitation master, Dick Rendell, Ninja Strikes Back is quite possibly the most absurd kung fu movie ever made. And that’s saying something. Starring Bruce Lee clone, Bruce Le and featuring tons of gratuitous nudity and quite possibly the best freeze frame decapitation ever, Ninja Strikes Back is a sleazy, fight filled extravaganza. Track it down, consume vast quantities of alcohol and let the madness unfold. One of the worst kung fu movies ever made: definitely. Highly recommended: absolutely.

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